Sometimes the biggest strain on your relationship is not coming from conflicts between the two of you, it’s coming from within one or both of you. Life can throw challenges at us that weigh heavily on a partnership. Perhaps one of you is battling constant anxiety or depression that makes it hard to get out of bed. Maybe you have trauma from your past that is showing up in the present. You may be using alcohol, work, or other behaviors to cope with stress, and now those coping behaviors are starting to hurt your relationship. Or perhaps you have ADHD that contributes to misunderstandings and frustrations.

If your or your partner is struggling with mental health or trauma, it inevitably affects you both. You might feel like your significant other does not understand what you are going through internally, so you shut them out. Or maybe you are on the other side: watching the person you love wrestle with anxiety, mood swings, or drinking too much and you feel powerless to help. You may know that your partner carries deep wounds from their past that they have never felt safe enough to address. You want to be there for your partner but the weight of these challenges creates a wall between you. Instead of closeness and mutual support, you end up with miscommunication or distance.

These challenges are not easy to talk about. It can be scary to admit to your partner that you are depressed or to confront a loved one about their drinking, for example. But suffering in silence or tiptoeing around the problem often creates even more isolation. The truth is, you’re not alone in this. Many couples find themselves struggling under the strain of depression, anxiety, trauma, ADHD or addictive behaviors, and it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. What it does mean is that outside support could make a big difference in helping both of you understand and cope. These personal struggles do matter, and addressing them together, with guidance, can bring relief.

At Integrative Couples Therapy, we know how deeply mental health, trauma, and relationships are intertwined. When one of you hurts, both of you hurt. Our approach is to help you face these challenges together. In couples sessions, we provide a warm, non-judgmental space where you can begin to talk about what each of you is experiencing and how it’s impacting your life together. We move slowly and thoughtfully, so neither of you feels blamed. The goal is to help you both understand what is going on beneath the surface and figure out what kind of support will help. As your bond strengthens, and you find it easier to talk about individual struggles, you will be able to navigate challenges with more confidence and less reactivity and distress.

You do not have to figure this out on your own, and you don’t have to choose between your wellbeing and your relationship. There is a way through this. Our approach might involve couples therapy, individual therapy, or referrals to providers in the community. We emphasize a collaborative treatment team approach to help ensure open communication among all the professionals that are supporting you. As an integrative practice, we can help coordinate that support. If one or both of you would benefit from additional resources, like a trusted psychiatrist, psychological assessment, individual therapy specialists, a trauma specialist, a drug and alcohol treatment program, eating disorder specialists, or a support group, we can help you find these resources while keeping your relationship strong at the center of the process.

Things may feel heavy and complicated right now, but they can get better. We are here to help you take the next step forward, at whatever pace feels right for you. You are not alone in this anymore, and together we can help you and your partner restore health and wellbeing.